Shark, or the most honest person in the room
My negotiation strategy has gotten me called a shark.
It's also gotten me called the most honest person in the room.
Same strategy. Different rooms.
The exercise that proved it
Last week at London Business School, we did a steal-or-split exercise against people we'd just met. Both split, you each walk with half. One steals, one splits, the stealer takes everything. Classic test of whether you trust a stranger with your outcome.
It's a tidy little mirror. Some people read the game as a contest to win. Others read it as a relationship to protect. The exact same move looks like aggression to one person and integrity to another, depending entirely on what they assumed you'd do.
I've spent my career being read both ways.
Why I don't soften the honesty
Here's what I've learned. The honesty is the strategy. Saying the real thing, early and clearly, is not a tactic I turn on for negotiations. It's how I operate, and it happens to be good business.
When you tell people the truth, including the unflattering version, you remove the guessing. You stop the slow, expensive dance where everyone hides their real position. The deal gets faster and cleaner, even when it's harder in the moment.
People who expect games call that sharp. People who are tired of games call it a relief. I'd rather be the second thing to the people I actually want to work with.
Ambitious without being unkind
There's a version of "strong negotiator" that just means willing to hurt people. That's not it.
We can be ambitious without dominating. We can disagree and disrupt without disrespecting. You can drive hard on the terms and still treat the human across the table like a person you might want in your village someday.
My Innovator DNA assessment told me I sometimes commit before I ask the questions a more careful counterparty would ask. Fair. I'm working on the questions. But I'm not working on the honesty. That part stays.
Call it shark if you want. I'll keep saying the real thing, in every room.